Growing Closer to Your Own Heart

When we walk into the stores and see all of the heart-shaped gifts this February, we might feel a complicated mix of emotions. We might get knots in our stomachs, looking at our to-do lists and wondering who we need to buy Valentine's gifts for. We start thinking about who we love and who loves us. We might feel the pain of sadness, missing the old days or start worrying about what love looks like for the future.

But have you noticed that when we do this, our focus is outward? What are we doing for them? What are they doing for us? What if we looked inward and started asking am I getting what I need from myself? Are you getting what you need from yourself?

Before you exit this screen, hear me out. You might be thinking that getting what you need from yourself is absurd. But think about this: you are the only one who keeps you company all day, every day for your whole life. Your voice is the voice you listen to. Your thoughts are what determine your emotions and your actions. This is true for anyone who has a mind that thinks thoughts. The relationship you have with yourself is actually the most important human relationship you will ever have. Paying close attention to how you treat yourself could really help your life experience.

Let's start by recognizing the love you give so freely to others and then see how you can turn some of that appreciation toward yourself.

For your loved ones, you might...

Listen attentively to their thoughts

Show them that their feelings are important to you.

Stock up on their favorite foods

Support their goals and dreams

Plan special outings

Surprise them with thoughtful gifts

Forgive their mistakes and give them grace

Pray for their well-being and success

Create a loving home environment

Celebrate their achievements

Respect their need for alone time

Take care of them when they are sick

Remember important dates and milestones

Accept them unconditionally

Can you love yourself as well as you are loving your people? Here is what this might look like.

You might...

Pay attention to your thoughts. If you are telling yourself a situation isn't "right," listen to yourself. Trust your own opinion. If you frequently defer to another person's opinion instead of your own, notice it. Make a promise to yourself that you will treat your own thoughts with respect.

Treat your feelings like they are important. Please don't treat your feelings like they are interruptions to your day. Think of your emotions as trusted advisors who know you intimately and want the best for you. They help you stay connected to your truth and live in a way that feels genuine to you. When you treat your emotions with respect and care, you're showing yourself that you matter.

Nourish your body. Prepare meals that you enjoy. Feed yourself with the same care and attention that you feed the people you love.

Pursue your goals and cherish your dreams. If you don't know what your dreams are, that is okay. You can discover them.

Here are a few ideas to start discovering your dreams.

• Pay attention to moments that make you lose track of time. That sense of flow is telling you something important.

• Think back to what you loved doing as a kid because those early passions often hold hints about what truly moves you.

• Watch for those little physical signals - maybe your heart skips, your stomach flutters, or warmth spreads through your chest. These aren't random sensations. They're your body's way of saying, "Yes, this! More of this!"

• Look for Patterns. What problems do you love solving? What do people naturally come to you for help with? What kinds of stories or achievements make you tear up with emotion? These patterns can reveal your deeper purpose.

Plan activities that YOU love. Engage in activities that make your heart sing. Whether it is a hike, shopping, the book store, or a museum. Enjoy your own company and allow yourself a sense of adventure.

Buy gifts for yourself, whether it is a new book, flowers, or anything that you enjoy. Remember that you are worthy of good things. Make sure what you buy is something you love. We have gotten accustomed to wanting what our people want because we are happy when they are happy. And this is beautiful and good. But don't forget that it is okay to buy something that makes your heart happy.

Extend grace to yourself. You know that thing you are beating yourself up about? Let it go. Remember that you are supposed to make mistakes because you are human.

"God can make all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His plan." (Romans 8:28). He can make your mistakes work for your good as well as for the good of those you have hurt. So ask Him to. And forgive yourself.

Include yourself in your prayers. Ask God for guidance, strength, and blessings in your life and the lives of others.

Create a peaceful space for yourself at home. Find a place in your home that can be your special place to decompress. It can be a room, a chair, or a corner of your bedroom. It doesn't matter where it is, as long as you can see that area as your special place. Declutter and decorate it with only the things you love that bring you peace. This can be a great place to pray, journal, read, or even scroll.

Celebrate your achievements. Tell yourself when you do a great job. If you have had a hard day, tell yourself you are proud you got through it. If you can't think of anything to be proud of yourself for, here are a few ideas.

• Every time you choose the high road in that difficult text exchange.

• Every morning, you get up and face the day, even when your heart feels heavy.

• Every time you show up for your family, even when it's really hard.

• Every small choice to take care of yourself, even when it feels selfish.

• Every time you say "No," to protect your peace.

• Every time you say "Yes" to new possibilities.

Allow yourself the solitude you need. Treat yourself to some quiet moments where you can read your devotionals and journal. Listen to that still, small voice inside of you fervently. That is where your wisdom and your peace will come from. Give yourself plenty of time to recharge when you need it. Do not put commitments to other people ahead of your commitment to yourself.

Prioritize your health. Take care of yourself like you take care of your people. Schedule your regular doctor appointments. Get yourself the care you need to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Celebrate your own milestones. Don't wait around to see who remembers your birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates in your life. You can make them special for yourself, just like you do for everyone else. If you want a party, throw one for yourself.

Accept yourself unconditionally. Love yourself for who you are, flaws and all. Is there an inner critic in you that tries to shame you? Pay attention to how you are judging yourself and find some ways to quiet the inner critic. Your inner dialogue is the only thing you are hearing constantly. Make it the compassionate voice and not the critical one. Doing this can be a game-changer for you.

Remember that you are truly loved and truly loving.

Wishing you a beautiful Valentine's Day.

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